Well, that title is so Christian! Not bad coming from a Pagan, I suppose.
Why am I doing this “online journal” thing? Well, my first husband and his mother read my diary, then turned and used it against me. Since then I haven’t been able to journal privately. I’ve tried but I can’t. When my Husband died 4 1/2 years ago, I started using my Facebook as a public grieving journal because I can’t afford the 3x a week that the counselor wanted me to pay and attend. Ok maybe not Public. More like I have managed to annoy nearly everyone on my friends list. Yes, my FB is actually very exclusive. Anyway… I decided that I needed a better place to have an outlet. Not only that but I want to start doing other things.. I like beauty, crafting, cooking, pets, music, gaming… Ya know..The reason everyone makes a blog.
About me. I am a SAHM of twins. I’m a widow. I may or may not put pics of my kids up. I haven’t decided yet.
I also homeschool. It wasn’t hard to make the decision to homeschool. After DH died, I wanted my girls near me at all times. I was so scared they would get hurt and I wouldn’t be there. I homeschooled them during the first semester of Kindy. I allowed myself to be talked into letting them go to public school. They graduated Kindy (I cried sooo hard!) and I let them go to 1st grade in public school. Talk about a mistake!!! We had a tornado go past the school and I wasn’t there to protect my kids. I went and picked them up as soon as we got the all clear. They were both bullied, but K-Bug was the one that got the brunt of it.
One day, near the end of the school year, they were on the playground and a “good Christian girl” found out about their Daddy. She also found out they are Pagan. Apparently, the girls were singing “I Walk With the Goddess” by Kellianna as a “feel better song” (my girls and I sing it like Christians sing “Jesus Loves Me” to feel better and protected). This little bitch tells my girls that their Daddy was “burning in hell”. Oh I was LIVID!!! That was when I said enough was enough. I started homeschooling again the next school year. The school officials were all so sweet (as they were when DH was killed – that’s for another post). They never really did anything though. Our schools are some of the best in the State. I love the school system. It’s one of the reasons we bought our house here. The Vice Principle, though, told me that the bitch was “a good Christian girl” and “she would never do that. Right… I’m not surprised though. This town is tiny. Everyone knows everyone, and if they don’t they will find out. I had a “pastor” tell me right after the Wreck that the reason my Husband was killed was because we were/are raising the girls to be Pagan. God’s Punishment, and all that. (Yes I am Bitter. I don’t plan on being anything but for a LONG time.)
I have a Love – Hate relationship with Christianity. I was raised in an Evangelical home. I accepted Christ and was Baptized in 1986. Easter Sunday, to be exact. The same day as my daddy. But I’ll get into that later.
There are things I will put on here that some (my family mostly) won’t like. At this point I don’t care. I’m done not telling what I my perspective is/was. It’s not like I’m not prepared to be disowned. I’m 36 1/2 (as of this post). If they (everyone) don’t like it, they can kiss my ass.
So. This is Me. I’ll introduce myself, my family (Husband, Boyfriend, A-Bug and K-Bug), my pets (all 8, almost 9!) to everyone later. Maybe I should do a post for each of them… *shrug*
Welcome to My World. From MY Perspective. Maybe I will be nice. Maybe I will be bitchy. We’ll see. Either way, I’ll just be Me.
My theme song, ya’ll..